Si "Book"

Hepi nu yiaa eperibodeehhh...
This year is about being a new me. I'm recently on a new stage of my life. Yah yah yah... baru-baru ini kepala saya jadi tiga. Begitulah. The kepo-moody-temperamental-childish-tomboy mom was having a moment of reflection.
Banyak ketemu orang, banyak ngobrol selama liburan, berarti banyak masukan, cerita, dan refleksi diri. Seberapa sering sih kita catat apa yang kita pikirkan, apa yang kita rasakan, apa yang kita inginkan ke dalam buku? Apalagi sekarang udah ada smartphone, tablet, dan berbagai gadget. Makin jarang aja ketemu kertas.
Padahal saya sendiri merasa beda lho nulis di buku dan nulis digital. Yang di buku bisa diurek-urek, kalau bete kertasnya bisa dilecekin, kalau nangis tulisannya luntur (bisa dihindari kalau pakai Pilot atau Standart, you know what I mean...), kalau senang bisa digambar-gambar (dengan skill seadanya), kalau penuh cinta bisa pakai cap bibir, so many emotions yang bisa dituangkan ke dalam selembar kertas atau sebuah buku...
I miss having one book. A notebook. My own notebook. One that drives me crazy when someone randomly read it and makes me go crazy if someone write in it. Especially when it is someone in particular. Not just someone, but "someone" someone. That special someone.
I used to have a notebook that holds everything i that i have in mind. One book that represents me. When people see that book, they see me. A book that I pour my heart and soul into. A book that is a place where I write about my thoughts, my feelings, my worries, my everything.
That kind of book is what I need right now. I used to write everything and anything in my life randomly. Everytime i finished my writings, it feels like i'm released from a great burden. Nowadays, with being mom of two and everyday life, I rarely have a chance to write. When I'm not with them, chores are waiting to be done. Lately I realize I become easily irritated and missunderstood. Mungkin seiring berjalannya usia, saya harus kembali ke toko buku, mencari dan kembali mencari teman kertas buat saya...